June 12, 2009
The 8 Traits of Conversation
by Brian Kissman
Conversation can make learning fun. As a student, what if you were not only allowed to talk much of the school day, but were expected to do so! You learn the art of conversation as a means to learn.
You learn conversation by practicing it. This ability is a very important life-skill. People who develop the art of conversation become conversationalists. They feel more comfortable talking with others. When we apply this skill to discuss a shared reading, our ability to gain a deep understanding of what has been read is greatly improved.
By sharing a reading — for example, through a book club — we take the opportunity to share our understanding and interpretations of what we have read. When we converse about how we have “read between the lines” and “put two and two together” we bring together our ideas. In doing so, we learn from one another and gain new ways of understanding. Think of it this way, my interpretation of what has been read is chocolate. Your interpretation of what has been read is peanut butter. By putting together our understanding of what we have read, we might come up with something more, something totally new — “chocolate peanut butter cups!”
Learn and practice these 8 traits of conversation
for successful “book club” discussions:
Be respectful and polite.
Demonstrate through your comments and actions that you are caring, thoughtful, and interested.
Be prepared and engaged. Remain on topic.
Read in advance, participate in the conversation, and remain focused on the topic.
Be an active listener.
Look at the person speaking. Listen to others’ comments — ask questions or build upon what they say.
Be clear and seek clarity.
Answer and ask questions with complete thoughts to keep the conversation strong and interesting.
Inquire and probe.
Explore and investigate what others in the group have to say. Ask about their inferences and interpretations. Paraphrase what they have said to confirm or suspend assumptions.
Monitor your comprehension.
Be comfortable asking questions about anything you do not understand.
Control yourself. Restrain impulsiveness.
Do not interrupt others when they are speaking. Watch your “air time” — be aware of how much you say when you speak and how often you speak. Use “wait time” to allow others a chance to join in the conversation.
Integrity.
Be your best. Demonstrate and maintain virtues of character such as respect, responsibility, and kindness when engaged in a group conversation.
It’s about naming it, getting it, using it, and creating with it. And what’s the best way to help students master these Traits and lifelong learning skill? MODEL, MODEL, MODEL!!! We must show them how, and not tell them how. How might you bring these Traits into your reading and writing routines? Talk to me 
